Notes for u:
Assalamualaikum & hello. Please be friendly. No harsh words !

15.3.11

HONESTLY

salam


to be real honest, i'm still wondering should he, or shouldn't he.
i don't dare to do Solat Istikharah yet.
now i'm tearing into two.
people always deserve better.
not to forget, 'yang baik hanya untuk yang baik'.
oh yes, good people deserve better for themselves.
so what happen to bad people? like me?
i'm not among those people who wear wide tudung, who wear socks, who wear kurung or jubah almost all of the time. so how could be on earth i will get someone better?
you get what u did right in return?
this ain't a joke but serious.
shouldn't i say you reap what you sow~comes from BIBLE
(so pep, never use that okay?)
i happen to become like those who slipped off of the path way. SOMETIMES
now, i feel like learning more about myself at the moment.
and thus, somehow things are getting even more uncertain.
u'uh, i'm afraid of sins i did or maybe doing
i'm trying to fix myself.
to not fall again.
tomorrow might come to an end, tomorrow might fall the sky..
tomorrow might lead to a beginning, tomorrow might shine the sun bright..

in between, i look myself through reflection.
i got wounds almost everywhere.
yet i got smiles here and there.
frankly speaking, i caught myself right now for being different from last night.
yes, as i grow maturer, i can see me.
who thinks differently, and sometimes it gets a lil frustrated.
when i couldn't get the things i've been wanting.
but at some circumstances, i should let myself know,
the right place i must stand. then, those things i've been letting myself to let go off,
are some of things that never meant for me. PERHAPS i'm true.
who am i, who was i? is someone responsible for that?

Puan Zatul said, our fate changes through times.
never say, it is fated to be that way unless u've tried and pray.
cause Allah always give chances to us.
sometimes, i forgot Allah unconsciously. regardless how long it was or it is.
but i will somehow then look for my right path again.
thats how we live.
even how far we are, we will be back home.
no matter how long, how lost we've been before.
home is always the most comfort place to return.
thats how it goes. yeahhh

oh maybe right now, i've gone too far.
at the early point, i talked about 'he'?
HAHA forgive me my dear bloggay :)

u know, sometimes i am very sure but sometimes i don't.
i can have what i want even now.
but u know? there are huge burdens to think deeply,
so many things. so many many many things !
that make me wonder.
yeahhh, look promising at some angles,
the other way round, they look vice versa.
i can see an immediate victory.
but for sure, is it will last forever?
a great puzzle; if i only knew how to begin..
and if i start the beginning, how do i shut the ending?
a question that will temporary remain unsolved.
till then, i think i would graduate first. HAHA
easy thought, right?

have to end here since i need to study.
hate to leave you with such quizzical look though, but who can help?

au revoir, dadaaa

*if only most of these made sense....

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