Notes for u:
Assalamualaikum & hello. Please be friendly. No harsh words !

24.12.10

BLACK AND WHITE AGREEMENT

salam beby. how yr doing? miss me? hee miss you more ♥. actually honey, i was waiting for myself to get in the-mood-of blogging since 9 p.m. last night (i mean, now its 2:31 in the morning). actually i've drafted u one thing. but half way, i found myself lost. and don't know what $^&*@ t exactly i'm writing. so i came up with this idea beby. of what i've discussed with aje last night.


happy life marriage start with Allah's bless

we talked about collaborating happily marriage. i know its early and sooo really. i mean it. i know, with Allah's will we'll get married in the 2015. so talking about this is yet too early. but somehow, we need plan right? longgg way to go. and i need something to ensure my life is not wasted as for the meanwhile.

out of nowhere. i came up with this thingy, started when i told him that i would want to build a taj mahal to symbolize out great affection. haha funny right. then he replied, a house would be just nice. then i was like,

"haha tu tnggungjawab b bkn? dr sisi agama. kalau b nk kataa ayg kna bantu. mksudnya b pun kna bantu ayg wt kja ruma. b wajib sara ruma tangga. ayg wajib urus ruma tangga. tp nk sma bantu. ayg bntu sara ruma tngga. b bantu urus ruma tngga. konsep yg adil bukan? org slalu ckp, kja ruma bini lah wt. tp bla kewangan, nk suro bini tlg. knp tk tlg kemas ruma jgk. tk adil tahu. bla part poligami plk, sbuk ckp sunah nabi. tp bila bab bntu bini, mnje kn bini tk ikut sunah nabi plk. konsep dh terpesong utk kepusan sndr SAHAJA. ayg bgtaw je. hehe"

this is the best part:

"tk btowl ke ayg ckp. sma kja lua, sma rsa ltih. b tu, ckp je. nant guna kekerasan? tme nk nikah nnt ayg nk wt pjanjian taw. kami kaum hawa lemah. bia ada htam putih. b langgar, b kna. pham?"

and he was like, "faham ayg. blablablabla" haha (goodboy buu)

this is only the preliminary. i mean, at this stage. when we're engaging to couple commitment. for those whos not seriously taking the relationship may find this not significant and like complicated and troublesome. okay, please get off if yr not interested. tettttt

haven't u heard about those young divorce marriage? absolutely i'll try die hard to avoid from. i've been dreaming for happily ever after marriage. at these days, this is not the thing indeed. everything that matter is money. yesterday, 'semanis kurma's talked about materialistic. but it didn't catch my interest as i'm not one of them and so do aje. recently, i have been thinking about the nature of fear i'll face by risking my life to my future husband, so i'm trying to save and figuring out how to adjust with marriage life. this is one whole life risks we're talking about here. if possible, if i were to choose between happy full of love marriage and filthy rich workaholic husband, i'd rather go with happy full of love marriage. u know, i don't want to be left out and sit lonely at home without knowing what exactly is my %$&^ husb doing outside.


till death do us apart

thats why i came up with black and white agreement. to be honest, i don't want to share my husb. i don't know how to tell ya, sensitive issue here. but technically i'm not against polygamy, but i can't let myself to be polygamous. u know what i mean right?

1) idk how to treat myself lying alone on bed knowing his at number 2 wife's place.
2) idk how to make myself understand that i'm not the only anymore.
3) idk how to paste a happy different faces when facing HER.
4) idk how to get rid my jealousy.
5) idk how to it hurts to imagine his sharing bed with another.
6) idk how to take the risk of being ignored
7) idk how to fake my smile in front of mother-in-law
8) idk how to make my small kid understand having more than a mother
9) idk how to figure out somehow time can heal it
10) idk how to make sure i don't drop tears
11) and idk how to make myself believe that i've booked HEAVEN to allow my husb polygamy


its tight between us. i'm not going to share u. even your hands

u know how suck it will be? duhh, can't imagine myself. i don't want to be polygamous cause it ain't that glamorous. yes, never be. so to make myself guaranteed, i'll consider this black and white thingy. its compulsory, don't ya think so beby? got to tell ya, polygamous looks promising. but the truth??? idk, u think yrself. so beby, what say u?

au revoir, daaaa

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