Notes for u:
Assalamualaikum & hello. Please be friendly. No harsh words !

6.12.10

AM I OKAY?

salam,
hey bloggay, with significant reason i apparently happen missing my life back when i were in my high school year. i know, somehow i shouldn't dwell into such moments. i've gotta move on for my own sake. giving up and letting go are two different things. but in some ways slightly alike. u know, they both hard to decide.

i know, this had been an issue for several times, if u notice. my previous posts, had came up with this friendships thingy, old school moments and so forth. why i'm always find its hard to face it.


oh yes i'm trying ! *sigh

it's not only about friendship, though. i mean, everythings that had changed now. include the fact that next year, i'll twirl 21. omg, i'm still yet haven't maximize my once in a lifetime teen's. *sigh how i wish i could turn back time when everything seems right and make sense. but u know, like i said,

"i miss you.. i mean, EVERYONE.. EVERYBODY.. i miss them all :( i wish i'm a PMR stud. so i can rewind back and hold them tight. oh yeah, its all reality. whats make sense right now. and obviously i'm not what i am right now if it wasn't because the things i've forgone. i'd better play good with opportunity cost, matter most."

yes, copied from my fb status last time. i'm economically agreed with this saying, 'things happen for reasons'. if u know what opportunity cost is, then u are aware with the risks of things u had forgone. i mean, somehow we did make a wrong choice in life and that might leads to another things. yes, they are contagiousness. to turn back things how it used to be, is absolutely not possible. yes, of course u don't live in fairytales right? where u can change whatever things that popped out of your mind.. the reality is so totally won't do things like this. its all about making the first steps wisely. u think deeply, only then u choose yr from the best options. and if things don't go exactly like u've planned, u might fall. either u wake up, or lay down. yet another choices u have to consider. despite the people around u who will influence u, u still have to make choice for your own's sakes. that are all what it take to have the right path in your life.

and as for me, i choose to let go my happiness and enjoyments being a teenager. nahh, i'm not telling u i didn't enjoy at all. of course i have to please myself by enjoying my teenager's life. after all, its my need right? what make myself a human if not living my life as a human right? but u will never know how hard i fixed my path.. i'm not a high achiever during my high school except for the miracle thing happened when i got 6A's in PMR. haha everyone was shockingly amazed by it. i mean, EVERYONE include myself. idk how that happened, but trust me i never studied hard or even smart during my sch time. i know that wasn't an impressive result. but as for me, and people who know how i was before, found it a magic. but now, i'm a total different person. i'm one of the high achievers in my faculty, and even in my campus. i'm not being cocky, but thats the real thing. and i try hard to keep it up.


i'm still climbing up

and now, i'm treasuring my hard works. i hope i can redeem from my hard works. i've always wanted a good life. to make changes in my life. to give a big smile on my parents' face. i know that won't be enough to pay my parents' sacrifices, but still i'll try to make them proud. and i know, they will be grateful to see their daughter's achievements. i hope so.. :) oh my goodness.. *giggle


friends keep their promises. but are we really keep ours?

but somehow, there is this place deep bottom in my heart, i miss the old times. when i had nothing to worry. when i can skip classes doing bad things. late comers, and u know all such things like *lompat pagar, serong sekolah, lepak2, tunjuk besar sound pengawas, sound cikgu and the bla bla bla bla things that i can't mention here, like u know the average things high school studs do. me and the rest always be the first to be called for discipline matters. haha now i really miss those moments. and oppositely, i'm so total different person now. me myself decided and had promised to never repeat those things with no reason that doesn't make sense.


is this true? nahhh, so called friendship ! huh

and this is one thing, i miss my old tight friendships.. now, everyone is splitting. many of them married, gone to colleges and universities and of course make new friends.. me also at the same shoes. making new friends. but somehow, who can resist old clostest bff right? i mean, u shared every single things and now, u can barely recognize them. they have completely changed and maybe had forget all values u've shared together before. its hurt when u walk beside them, but both of u act like a total stranger. its weird, ain't it? and even more tearing. before, u know what bra's color of yr bff is wearing everyday, u know when she poo, when she meet his guy and every little single things she's doing. her daily chores, u already knew all. but know, u don't even know what her new favorites anymore. how sad, huh?


is your shoulder still free for me to cry on?

why things fade away like those are all only dreams? frankly speaking, i hope we can still hang out together and maybe build our friendship again. I REGRET THAT I LOSE MY FRIENDSHIP BUT I DON'T REGRET THAT I'VE BECOME A NEW PERSON. *sigh

i think thats enough for now. ily bloggay, daaaa au revoir

No comments: